Transcend The Situation

There are different forms of mental prisons that you put yourself in. It’s not really your fault, at first. Psychology teaches us that our past experiences dictate our mental conditioning, and therefore our behavior. That then translates into an identity you cast yourself as, and a rut of sorts that you seem stuck in, whether it be a job you’re unhappy with, a relationship (or lack of one) that you lost zest in, and we could go on and on. The point at which it becomes your fault is when you learn better and stick to your ways. At that point, I’m not afraid to tell you that it is indeed your fault that you’ve clung to old habits that harm you.

You are not your situation. Your situation is temporary. Everything is impermanent. That first might sound scary to you, but there’s a freedom in that. You get stuck in a rut when you can’t envision anything other than that rut. And that can either apply to your life situation or your (egoic) identity. When we perceive a situation as temporary and finite (which it is), it has less power over us, therefore we then control the situation (internally), and not the other way around anymore. Which sounds more appealing to you? A) “I really need this job, it’s gonna devastate me if I don’t get it.” Or B) “If I get this job, that would be wonderful, but if I don’t get it, great! I learned something from the interview in terms of what I could do better, and that’s an accomplishment within itself.” Trust me, A is going to bring you lots of misery while B is a win-win. You can’t lose if you can draw wisdom and insight from any situation.

People limit themselves because they label themselves very specifically and tie themselves (with metal wire) to what they think they are and what they think will occur. This does damage in several ways. It makes you far less likely to take (possibly rewarding) “risks” because you’re more afraid of failure than you are open to the actual experience. An experience in itself is rewarding when we go in it with openness and with the insight that it will not fundamentally change us. If you’re letting the outside world always dictate how you feel internally, you’re doing something wrong. And that mentality is inherently tied to what I mentioned earlier about being afraid of failure. It is that attachment to circumstance that makes you feel a certain way, and you don’t want some of those feelings because they scare you. Simple as that. When you TRANSCEND the situation and the feeling (by looking at them with clarity), you gain insight and freedom. How do you do that? By realizing their impermanence, taking out of them what benefits you and learning from what didn’t benefit you at the time (still a benefit), and ultimately moving on unbothered. Until you can do those things, you’re severely limiting yourself to your fears.

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